Just Ride

     Cannot tell you how many times these words have come out of our mouth to our 3 and half year old Ryan. It is becoming next to the norm for Ryan to check with me to see if I have keys when coming out to the car, make sure we are on the right road to get to Walmart, and to make sure I have right cart and Scott secured safely. I would say that it is all part of just being an older brother and learning to look out for him and everyone else....BUT Ryan has been doing this type of thing since he was 18 months. I can still remember him pointing and crying when we wouldn't turn on Mamaw's road. Since that time he is super attentive about where we are going, why, who's going to be there, and how will we return home.  Josh and I have become so accustomed to hearing him try and make sense of and control all situations that we just laugh to each other and say, "Ryan Just RIDE!" :) We know where we are going and we will take care of all the details you do not know! lol - Another glimpse, as Jerry mentioned in his sermon, of how God views us.
       Jesus told Martha, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her." Luke 10:41 Not sure if this describes you, but it certainly does me.  God in his grace looks down on me and says, "Carrie, you worry about many things..." He is in the driver's seat and knows exactly where he is going. I'm so glad for that.
   

Giving our kids what's (really) best for them

     I think there is something in all mothers, and in all parents for that matter, that wants our children to have things and get "nothing but the best" or better than what we had growing up. I can't help myself but to pause and almost give in when Ryan and I ride by Jack Frost or the toy section in Walmart. Something inside of me wants to see his face light up and smile and be satisfied (atleast momentarily.) And to be real honest occasionally I just want to avoid the tantrum or sad face that results by me saying "no not today." But what I have found as a parent is that the more I say "no" the more Ryan seems to be content and satisfied with that answer. Hearing that word often seems to do him good. However, the more I give in and say "yes" to something that I know I shouldn't say yes to, the more expectant and entitled he seems to become. For example it makes sense to me that after watching two of his favorite TV shows Ryan would be happy and content the rest of the day. He would not ask for it anymore because he has had his fill. It always surprises me that when he gets what he asks for (TV, a toy, icecream, etc.) he is usually not content and satisfied with it. Instead after the show goes off and I turn the TV off feeling happy that he got what he wanted, I am shocked by the fact that he falls in the floor and seems mad. I want to say, "Are you ever satisfied?? Can you not be content with what you are given??" The sin nature in Ryan (and all of us) is so strong to selfishly push for whatever he wants and then not even be satisfied when he receives it but instead just want more and more. Isn't this in all of us? Without Christ giving us his spirit and the self control to make decisions according to the spirit we are the same. That new bedroom suit only makes us desire a new comforter set and curtains to match. 

Growing up I remember asking my parents for things and frequently hearing "no we can't", "no not today", or "no we don't have money for that." When I was very young I remember thinking that when I grew up and had children I would try harder to provide for them and give them more to make them happy.

But from this, I developed something that I would only realize was there as an adult. I developed the ability to tell myself "no" often in life. Because frivilous things that I had whined for had frequently been "shut down" so to speak I began to shut them down myself as I grew older. I also became resourceful as an adult and if I didn't have something I would try to create something that would make due or just wait it out until a birthday or Christmas. I am now extremely thankful for the "NOs" I often heard growing up because what I have found is that true satisfaction does not come from anything of this world. I hope to instill this into Ryan and Scott as my parents did for my sister and I.

To make this practical: 

It is really healthy to take your kids into the Dollar Store or even ToysRUs and let them know ahead of time that you are there to pick out a friends birthday present. Getting in the habit of thinking about someone else in our favorite store is so good for them. 

Refuse to pick up something in Walmart to appease your child just so you can accomplish your shopping. Let them know that you only have money for the items that you came to buy and nothing else.

Make special trips to Jack Frost or the Dollar Store for things just for your child. Don't just swing by or give in because your child thinks you should. You are in control of the car and where and when you go somewhere. 

Say "no" to things more often than you say "yes". That sounds harsh doesn't it? Living your life in honor to Christ will force you to say "no" more often than "yes". Let them get into the habit of that. 

What a face! =) 

A surprised look! =)